She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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