He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
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The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
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I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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