There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize