Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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