So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize