FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
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Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
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They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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