where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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