I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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