Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
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You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
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Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
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