so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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