I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize