I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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