dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
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Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
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I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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