wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize