Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize