I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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