is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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