Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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