too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
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Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
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I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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