How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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