A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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