Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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