taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize