quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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