Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
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At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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