he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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