I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize