i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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