I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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