everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
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Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
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How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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