i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize