I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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