Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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