he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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