Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize