Tell her she can't have a vagina
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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