He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize