I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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