Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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