i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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