Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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