My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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