dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize