Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He? As in you personified your dick?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize