I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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