Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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