it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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