Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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