So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
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Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
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How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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