Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
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so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
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I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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